Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Fibular Hemimelia: "The Pain that you've been feeling-- is just the dawn before the morning."

We. All. Need. Hope.
"Before the Morning"
Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending

Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
'Cuz the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming

So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer

And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see 
the bigger picture

Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory

It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
  ~Josh Wilson
Do you remember the dream I had of Ethan running, 
the dream that left me in tears, the dream that I 
thought would never come to fruition?  Why are we so easily 
discouraged, so faithless?  God doesn't promise to answer our
 prayers in the way that we see fit, but he does promise to 

John 14:13:  And whatsoever you ask in my name, that will 
I do,that the Father may be glorified in 
the Son. 
Sometimes, however, our prayers are in accordance with 
His will, and we get to witness the miraculous.  
Psalm 107:28-30 -"Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, 
and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the 
storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still. Then are 
they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto 
their desired haven."

 Watch with me.  Watch Him, in a matter of seconds, calm my 

storm and still my waves.  Watch Him bring me to a desired

 haven,and then join me in my gladness.

(Click the link below -I can't figure out how to 

 embed a video?!) 

Psalm 107:31 -Oh that [men] would Praise the Lord [for] his
 goodness, and [for] his wonderful works to the children of men! 


Can I tell you that the pain I endured watching him struggle

can't compare to the joy that comes in watching him R.U.N. 
Can I tell you that his struggle isn't over.  There's another 
surgery coming in June --to move his 8-plate from the 
femur to the tibia to correct his valgus (knocked knees!).
And can I tell you that I worry if he will have a natural gait 
and if his foot and ankle will be functional
without another surgery someday. 
Can I tell you, though, that beyond worry is H.O.P.E.  One
day we will see the bigger picture --our finite minds simply
cannot grasp the plans of the Infinite One.
Until then, we watch and pray, we wait and grow, and 
we stay mindful of His promises:
 Psalm 138:8 -The LORD will perfect that which concerneth
me:  thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever:  forsake not
the works of thine own hands. 


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Fibular Hemimelia -Unfairness --and giving a Mouse a Cookie

It's funny that after having a child with a brain mass and a child with fibular hemimelia and a birthing experience with a third child that left me in need of a blood transfusion, I struggle with unfairness in the everyday, the seemingly mundane aspects of life.

In fact, today I started an unfair list.  At first it focused on my son's baseball experience, and then it soon escalated to everything from my varicose veins to my inability to resist a Little Debbie cake.

If you start an unfair list, and I don't recommend you do, make sure that you have a large piece of paper and plenty of lead.  Also, if you plan to share your list with a friend, as I did -but do not recommend -make sure that you have another sheet of paper and more lead because apparently complaining about unfairness is quite contagious -and your friend will probably want to start a list, too.

Once you and your friend begin comparing your unfair lists, you will notice that her unfair list is bigger, and you'll want to add to your list to make it bigger, too.   Before you know it, you will have discovered that most things in life are unfair.  After this realization, you'll probably need some chocolate.  So, you'll grab a Little Debbie cake --and some milk to go with it.

Reading over your list, you'll begin to feel sorry for yourself -- you might even cry.  When you start to cry, you'll need a tissue, and when you reach for the tissue, you'll probably catch your reflection in the bathroom mirror.  At first, you'll notice the wrinkles around your eyes and the roots showing through your hair --and you'll reach for your unfair list and the pencil.  When you reach for your pencil, you'll brush past the light-up Star Wars toothbrush and flowered headband left on the sink by your kids.  You'll look in the mirror again -- you might even cry.

You'll crumble up the unfair list and you'll start a new one like this:
1.  loving husband

2.  beautiful children
3.  warm house
4.  Little Debbie cakes

You'll need more paper and more lead.  Once you start, you'll probably want to keep going.  You'll have so much fun that you'll realize that everything is unfair.  After this realization, you'll probably need some chocolate.  So, you'll grab a Little Debbie cake --and some milk to go with it.

Reading over your list will remind you of a Savior --one who transferred His righteousness to you.  You'll be reminded that He was bruised for your sinfulness and that by His stripes you are healed.  You'll probably start to see unfairness differently --you might even cry.

You'll be reminded of these verses:  

Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier. -2 Timothy 2:3-4

After reading these verses, you'll realize that you've been "entangled" and that your endurance can only be sustained in Him.  You'll decide to be a better soldier.  You might even get so carried away that you remind others to carry on, too.  They'll be so encouraged that they'll join with you in battle.  You'll be such a good lookin' group of soldiers that soon others will start to notice, too.  They'll want to know who your leader is and you'll grin and pull out your unfair list and introduce them to the One whose endurance of the unfair secured your salvation.